My Cat can eat a whole watermelon

Afraid of the (fill in the blank)

At the beginning of this year, a young woman was tragically abducted and later killed. The home she was taken from is walking distance from my house. This made me start to be more aware of my surroundings (it's still dark out when I leave for work), and I went to my neighbors' doors and introduced myself. A couple weeks ago, the ground started rumbling and rocking and rolling. Friday night I shot bolt upright in my bed and grabbed ahold of the dog and rode out what felt like 5 minutes of quaking (it was only about 10 seconds and a 4.7 quake). I could hear glasses clinking and blinds hitting the windows and it sounded like a semi truck was heading down the road. That was followed by a couple more. Sleep wasn't gonna happen that night. Saturday afternoon, I bolted shelves to walls, put out the bottled water and first aid kit and some pet supplies, and learned how to turn off the gas and water to the house - just in case. Sunday morning, woke up to more quaking and now a new crack runs along the kitchen wall. Sunday, came out of work to see dark smoke billowing up from town. Holy Criminy - I can't take much more of this.....

Park your bike and crack open a fat tire

Last year I attended Tour De Fat with my cousins. I had a new cruiser and was dying to show it off. It's a super fun, eco-friendly event in Truckee, and if you get a chance to go I highly reccommend it. This year, I will be the veteran taking a newbie. Together we will parade our bikes around and drink Mothership Wit out of compostable corn beer cups!

If only.....

What if I'd been shown this video in 5th grade instead of that stupid one about how to apply a sanitary pad?